I woke Lance and told him what I thought had happened.
I wasn't sure so I went to the restroom and
I had a gush.
I jumped in the shower and then frantically started packing my bag..
(No I wasn't prepared) I was determined she wouldn't be hear until April!
Lance ran downstairs to wake my mom before school to tell her the news,
and then of course called his parents to tell them and ask them to take the boys.
We ran out the door and dashed to the hospital!
At this point I was feeling great. But I also knew that several hours before in the night
I was in pain, not just normal pain. Back labor pain.
(Any woman that has gone through back labor knows what I am talking about)
Thankfully in Preston, the Doctors stick close by. (Dr. Beckstead anyways)
We were checked in and taken into the delivery room. {Not plural, preston has ONE
actual delivery room}
We had an awesome nurse that helped us get comfortable to wait for the long day of
delivery.
After both boys my labor stopped when my water broke, so I have
had pitocin with all 3 children. -Pitocin is a labor inducing drug given
through an IV-
That lovely nurse got to go home. This was also the nurse that
helped me when I thought I was in labor previously. So I was a little
nervous and sad.
BUT thankfully, I had another AH...MAZING nurse that helped that day.
We had planned to start pitocin earlier in the day, but we couldn't get a feed
on Kinzley's heart beat. I must carry my children weird cause Krew did the
EXACT same thing.
Thankfully from my experience with Krew, I knew to pay extra close attention
to the monitor when we did have her heart rate available to see.
I patiently waited for it to just start showing up, but sadly the nurse had to stand
next to me and hold it into position to get anything.
About 11 am, we started fluids and pit.
We waited for anything to happen. But Kinzley wasn't cooperative.
The nurse patiently stood by me trying to get a read on Little Kinzley's heart rate.
Every once in awhile it would pop up for a few seconds. It would be 120 which is
normal for a baby, then it would drop to 70 or 59. Which IS very dangerous.
After hours and hours of the same thing and my pain intensifying in the back
we finally progressed to 4 cm.
(With the boys when I hit 5 cm. within seconds I was at a 10 and ready to push)
We ordered the epidural. John Kezele came in. He was great! I have known most
of the men and women helping with Kinzley's delivery since I was a child. But John
was a distraction. He has a great sense of humor and I know I was laughing when
he put the epidural in.
(With both boys the epidural didn't work on both sides. Just on one, which was
very painful and very frustrating to pay for!) LOL
John made sure that I was numb. He took about an hour to put the epidural in.
In logan they seriously took 15 minutes. (That's not a good thing!) They stuck
and ran. I was so grateful to John that he stayed and made sure I was completely
comfortable and told me everything I needed to know.
At about 4:30 I had them check me again. SURE enough I was still a four. AHH!!!
Kinzley wasn't dropping, wasn't progressing I was still gushing water. My stomach was
completely flat except for where you could see Kinzley's tiny little body.
She was still high and moving. . . No, she wasn't supposed to be moving if that's what you
are thinking.
The nurse went to grab the other nurse to help her with a pic line needle (A small needle inserted
vaginally into the babies head for a more accurate heart rate)
The nurses decided to put a pic line needle in Kinzley's head. It took twice.
They thought for sure that they had missed her head when they saw her heart rate
the first time. So they pulled it and tried again.
Second time was the charm.
Her heart rate was dropping, despite the nurse thinking that it was mine the entire day.
Several weeks before I had a conversation with Dr. Beckstead telling him I was
concerned that the cord was wrapped around Kinzley's neck. I asked him how we
could find out. . He wasn't to alarmed. I didn't expect him to be. But to wait until the day
she comes was his answer.
Mother's intuition???
The nurses took action. Calling Dr. Beckstead. Literally minutes after he was standing
at my feet.
He watched the monitor for one drop of Kinzley's heart rate and said
"I want her in the other room in less than 15 minutes"
My heart sank, those were the words I didn't want to hear. Not because of the c-section
but because I was scared. I could see the alarm on his face. I knew that Kinzley was in
danger and Mommy, the one person that should do something to help her, couldn't.
I cried.
My mom had walked in just minutes before Dr. Beckstead came.
She kissed my head. I cried harder.
Lance came and stood by my side, held my hand and said it would be ok.
They ran through the steps with him, gave him scrubs. He had to squeeze into
these tiny scrubs they looked like too skinny, skinny jeans.
It was hilarious. We laughed and laughed.
And John walked in and started laughing harder and went to grab him a more
sufficient pair of scrubs.
The nurse wanted to check me just one more time to see if Kinzley would drop
in hopes that maybe just maybe she had moved down. I was a 5, she couldn't even
feel Kinzley's head at this point.
Then I was very alarmed. Dr. Beckstead poked his head into the room and said
very firmly "Other room, NOW!"
They hadn't even put the catheter in, the nurse had to jump on my bed and do
the cath while moving into the O.R. (That's how serious our situation was)
5:49 I was rolled into the O.R.
I was strapped to the table. Made comfortable.
But it was cold. Unfamiliar. Scary. And white.
John started walking me through the steps. Talking to me about everyday things.
I knew he was trying to ease my anxiety and honestly he did great.
When he wasn't talking the tears were free flowing. I have never had surgery.
I was scared for Kinzley, alarmed by Dr. Beckstead's reaction. And alone.
Dr Beckstead and Dr. Eskelson walked in and began the procedure swiftly.
They allowed Lance into the room and my mom stood in the window of the closed door.
3 nurses, 2 doctors, John, Lance and my mom surrounded me. I could feel
my body shaking. I went into shock soon after Dr. Beckstead decided it was time.
Shaking, cold, drugged and scared. I starred into the silver on the light fixture above me.
I could see them cutting me, I could see their hands reach in. I could see a lot of blood.
I glanced to my mom and gave her the tongue out look.
I felt intense pressure. Then Dr. Beckstead broke the silence.
"The babies stuck sideways, I need someone to go in and push that baby out, NOW!"
Heidi (the nurse) jumped in and pushed Kinzley back through the birth canal.
Moments later Dr. Beckstead pulled her up, unwrapped the cord from her neck twice
and said she's here!!
6:02 PM. Kinzley was delivered by C-section.
Dr. Beckstead gave her to the nurse to begin babies procedures. I could see her
face as she passed. Bruised, blue and she wasn't
crying, or moving. I was doing everything I could to sit up with out realizing
it until John knelt down by me. He said 'Give her a minute, we will get her breathing.' and he rushed to
her side.
She let out this tiny itty bitty squeal. I felt relief.
At this point Lance was trying to snap some pictures. The doctors stapled me up, and
started chatting.
Kinzley Rae was 5 lb.s . 3 oz., 18 1/4 in long.
Kinzley was brought to my face, I kissed her and she was taken to be bathed.
After the procedure Dr. Beckstead came to my mom and explained why he
decided to do the c-section.
Long story short. Kinzley was under great distress. She wasn't dropping because
her cord was wrapped around her neck twice and pulled tightly. Also having her head
turned sideways in the birth canal had her lodged. Every time I contracted she
was being constricted and pushed without 'air'.
<You can see the bruises she had, on her
Lance ran downstairs to wake my mom before school to tell her the news,
and then of course called his parents to tell them and ask them to take the boys.
We ran out the door and dashed to the hospital!
At this point I was feeling great. But I also knew that several hours before in the night
I was in pain, not just normal pain. Back labor pain.
(Any woman that has gone through back labor knows what I am talking about)
Thankfully in Preston, the Doctors stick close by. (Dr. Beckstead anyways)
We were checked in and taken into the delivery room. {Not plural, preston has ONE
actual delivery room}
We had an awesome nurse that helped us get comfortable to wait for the long day of
delivery.
After both boys my labor stopped when my water broke, so I have
had pitocin with all 3 children. -Pitocin is a labor inducing drug given
through an IV-
That lovely nurse got to go home. This was also the nurse that
helped me when I thought I was in labor previously. So I was a little
nervous and sad.
BUT thankfully, I had another AH...MAZING nurse that helped that day.
We had planned to start pitocin earlier in the day, but we couldn't get a feed
on Kinzley's heart beat. I must carry my children weird cause Krew did the
EXACT same thing.
Thankfully from my experience with Krew, I knew to pay extra close attention
to the monitor when we did have her heart rate available to see.
I patiently waited for it to just start showing up, but sadly the nurse had to stand
next to me and hold it into position to get anything.
About 11 am, we started fluids and pit.
We waited for anything to happen. But Kinzley wasn't cooperative.
The nurse patiently stood by me trying to get a read on Little Kinzley's heart rate.
Every once in awhile it would pop up for a few seconds. It would be 120 which is
normal for a baby, then it would drop to 70 or 59. Which IS very dangerous.
After hours and hours of the same thing and my pain intensifying in the back
we finally progressed to 4 cm.
(With the boys when I hit 5 cm. within seconds I was at a 10 and ready to push)
We ordered the epidural. John Kezele came in. He was great! I have known most
of the men and women helping with Kinzley's delivery since I was a child. But John
was a distraction. He has a great sense of humor and I know I was laughing when
he put the epidural in.
(With both boys the epidural didn't work on both sides. Just on one, which was
very painful and very frustrating to pay for!) LOL
John made sure that I was numb. He took about an hour to put the epidural in.
In logan they seriously took 15 minutes. (That's not a good thing!) They stuck
and ran. I was so grateful to John that he stayed and made sure I was completely
comfortable and told me everything I needed to know.
At about 4:30 I had them check me again. SURE enough I was still a four. AHH!!!
Kinzley wasn't dropping, wasn't progressing I was still gushing water. My stomach was
completely flat except for where you could see Kinzley's tiny little body.
She was still high and moving. . . No, she wasn't supposed to be moving if that's what you
are thinking.
The nurse went to grab the other nurse to help her with a pic line needle (A small needle inserted
vaginally into the babies head for a more accurate heart rate)
The nurses decided to put a pic line needle in Kinzley's head. It took twice.
They thought for sure that they had missed her head when they saw her heart rate
the first time. So they pulled it and tried again.
Second time was the charm.
Her heart rate was dropping, despite the nurse thinking that it was mine the entire day.
Several weeks before I had a conversation with Dr. Beckstead telling him I was
concerned that the cord was wrapped around Kinzley's neck. I asked him how we
could find out. . He wasn't to alarmed. I didn't expect him to be. But to wait until the day
she comes was his answer.
Mother's intuition???
The nurses took action. Calling Dr. Beckstead. Literally minutes after he was standing
at my feet.
He watched the monitor for one drop of Kinzley's heart rate and said
"I want her in the other room in less than 15 minutes"
My heart sank, those were the words I didn't want to hear. Not because of the c-section
but because I was scared. I could see the alarm on his face. I knew that Kinzley was in
danger and Mommy, the one person that should do something to help her, couldn't.
I cried.
My mom had walked in just minutes before Dr. Beckstead came.
She kissed my head. I cried harder.
Lance came and stood by my side, held my hand and said it would be ok.
They ran through the steps with him, gave him scrubs. He had to squeeze into
these tiny scrubs they looked like too skinny, skinny jeans.
It was hilarious. We laughed and laughed.
And John walked in and started laughing harder and went to grab him a more
sufficient pair of scrubs.
The nurse wanted to check me just one more time to see if Kinzley would drop
in hopes that maybe just maybe she had moved down. I was a 5, she couldn't even
feel Kinzley's head at this point.
Then I was very alarmed. Dr. Beckstead poked his head into the room and said
very firmly "Other room, NOW!"
They hadn't even put the catheter in, the nurse had to jump on my bed and do
the cath while moving into the O.R. (That's how serious our situation was)
5:49 I was rolled into the O.R.
I was strapped to the table. Made comfortable.
But it was cold. Unfamiliar. Scary. And white.
John started walking me through the steps. Talking to me about everyday things.
I knew he was trying to ease my anxiety and honestly he did great.
When he wasn't talking the tears were free flowing. I have never had surgery.
I was scared for Kinzley, alarmed by Dr. Beckstead's reaction. And alone.
Dr Beckstead and Dr. Eskelson walked in and began the procedure swiftly.
They allowed Lance into the room and my mom stood in the window of the closed door.
3 nurses, 2 doctors, John, Lance and my mom surrounded me. I could feel
my body shaking. I went into shock soon after Dr. Beckstead decided it was time.
Shaking, cold, drugged and scared. I starred into the silver on the light fixture above me.
I could see them cutting me, I could see their hands reach in. I could see a lot of blood.
I glanced to my mom and gave her the tongue out look.
I felt intense pressure. Then Dr. Beckstead broke the silence.
"The babies stuck sideways, I need someone to go in and push that baby out, NOW!"
Heidi (the nurse) jumped in and pushed Kinzley back through the birth canal.
Moments later Dr. Beckstead pulled her up, unwrapped the cord from her neck twice
and said she's here!!
6:02 PM. Kinzley was delivered by C-section.
Dr. Beckstead gave her to the nurse to begin babies procedures. I could see her
face as she passed. Bruised, blue and she wasn't
crying, or moving. I was doing everything I could to sit up with out realizing
it until John knelt down by me. He said 'Give her a minute, we will get her breathing.' and he rushed to
her side.
She let out this tiny itty bitty squeal. I felt relief.
At this point Lance was trying to snap some pictures. The doctors stapled me up, and
started chatting.
Kinzley Rae was 5 lb.s . 3 oz., 18 1/4 in long.
Kinzley was brought to my face, I kissed her and she was taken to be bathed.
After the procedure Dr. Beckstead came to my mom and explained why he
decided to do the c-section.Long story short. Kinzley was under great distress. She wasn't dropping because
her cord was wrapped around her neck twice and pulled tightly. Also having her head
turned sideways in the birth canal had her lodged. Every time I contracted she
was being constricted and pushed without 'air'.
<You can see the bruises she had, on her
Face, chest, arms and legs.
After learning what happened, we were all in a twilight zone.
Feeling blessed. Relieved. Grateful. Everything on top of being scared, weak,
and starting to feel the pain for the happenings I couldn't wait to hold her.
I was so weak when Lance handed Kinzley to me I could barely lift my arms.
I was afraid to drop such a tiny thing so I decided to wait until later to hold her.
When I was finally able to hold her it was a glorious moment. I was heart broken
that I want able to hold her right off the bat. But I was even more grateful that
she was safe, alive, and beautiful.
I know without a doubt Kinzley has a 'mission' here on earth. She is my angel.
I love this little girl, she made me realize how close I NEVER want to come
again to loosing a child. For those that I know that have lost babies, children,
family and friends. How grateful I am for eternal families. For life after death.
I hope that comforts you also.
After learning what happened, we were all in a twilight zone.
Feeling blessed. Relieved. Grateful. Everything on top of being scared, weak,
and starting to feel the pain for the happenings I couldn't wait to hold her.
I was so weak when Lance handed Kinzley to me I could barely lift my arms.
I was afraid to drop such a tiny thing so I decided to wait until later to hold her.
When I was finally able to hold her it was a glorious moment. I was heart broken
that I want able to hold her right off the bat. But I was even more grateful that
she was safe, alive, and beautiful.
I know without a doubt Kinzley has a 'mission' here on earth. She is my angel.
I love this little girl, she made me realize how close I NEVER want to come
again to loosing a child. For those that I know that have lost babies, children,
family and friends. How grateful I am for eternal families. For life after death.
I hope that comforts you also.
Our first picture with Mom, Dad, and Kinzley.
Her first bow and looking at Mommy for the very first time.
The next morning 3/30 she looked a little less
Bruised and a little more peaceful
3/31 first captured sleeping smile. So precious!
Brothers meeting Kinzley on 3/29.
They both have Popsicle faces :)
Love her!
Going home!! This is a chicco car seat so you kind of get an idea
Of how small she was. This day she was weighed she had dropped to
4 lb.s 12 oz.
First morning with sister home!
Both boys were in heaven!
Meeting Grandma Opal, she just loved Kinzley and wants to
Babysit right away!!
Doesn't time fly?!
First mani and pedi!!
She loves holding fingers, even if they are her own!
tummy time!
Every new outfit I put her in is my favorite until the next one!
:)
Much love!!
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